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Question for parents...

So my daughter is 3, almost 3.5.   I still take shower with her periodically, mainly because it is quicker to get us both done.  It just works out really nice.  My question is how old is too old for your children to shower with you or to even see you naked?

What are your thoughts or experiences??

I know when I was younger I would always talk to my mom while she was in the bath and I would see her naked and not think much about it.

I know it is different if a boy is seeing mommy or if a girl is seeing daddy then you would probably want to stop at a younger age.

I am just curious cause I don't want to keep doing it if it will affect her.   Not sure how it would affect her but curious to hear some responses.

Comments

CheekyMommaof2 said…
My daughter is 7 and she still showers with me, but not with her dad. My son is 10 and no longer showers with us.

Just in the past 6 months or so, my son will turn and run the other way if he walks in on me while I'm naked. LOL!
Summer said…
I have heard that 3 is the age that experts recommend children stop seeing their parents unclothed. If I remember right it was because that's when they start to recognize things. My daughter started noticing things at around 3.5 so now I try not to let her see me change or shower. Plus I think it is good to start teaching them modesty early not only by words but also by action. That would include, in my opinion, not allowing her to see me naked. But that's just me... :)
2 different responses... I hope to hear from more. :)

Thanks for the responses I love them both!
I take showers with my almost 3year old from time to time and was having this very same convo with my husband a little bit ago. my girl is very curious and she is starting to look at me in the shower and ask ?s like how come mines dont look like that and whats that. it is actually starting to get a little icky so I have slowed down on showering with her. but she loves it and it is a huge time saver.....BTW i'm New blog hop follower, check me out when u can at http://hugatreewithme2.blogspot.com
Fit2B Mama said…
Stopping by from the Moonie Hop :) My daughter is five, and we shower all the time together. I also let her see me taking care of my monthly flow. She asks lots of questions, and I answer them as honestly but gently as I can. Why on earth would we hide from our daughters? Modesty is about them strutting around outside for the world to see, not about the privacy of our homes. We don't need boys and men we aren't married to gawking at us, but we do need to be comfortable changing in front of and discussing our bodies with other women. Otherwise, how shall we give birth? Nurse? Learn? Even rejoice in what God has given us. When my daughter sees my body in the privacy of our home (not that I'm on display, but just in passing) I hope I send her a message of peace and comfort. My body isn't perfect, but in her eyes it is. She will see naked women on billboards, in magazines, in lockerrooms. I want my mama body to set the precedent. I want her to be comfortable talking to me. I want her to feel safe asking me how to use a pad or a tampon when she gets her period. I want to compare stretch marks with her after she's had her first baby. I want to be there when she has her baby! How will that work if I teach her to hide her body from me???
Fit2B- I really enjoyed your response! It is so important for us to communicate with our daughters before the WORLD communicates a message we disapprove of! :) THANKS!
Fit2B Mama said…
Oh I'm so glad. I remember feeling startled when she first pointed to my pubic hair and asked about it. Maybe I even felt a little "icky" like Hug-a-Tree mentioned. But in that moment I also had an epiphany about my ability to shape my daughter's image of her body. So when she asked me with the candor that only a 3 year-old can muster, "Why doesn't my nudes have hairies, Mama?" I was able to say, that she would get hair just like mommy when she was older. She asked to feel it, and I let her. I told her that I looked like her when I was a little girl, but that when she gets older she'll look like me. "I hope mine looks just like yours, Mom." She was born from there. She emerged from that precious place. She began in that precious place, and it was a delight to tell her about it with the words God gave me in that moment. Everytime she asks about some part of her body or mine, I also take the opportunity to remind her that her body is special but private, and that only our family and the doctor and her husband one day may see her special places. And that she can always say "no" if she's uncomfortable. As a five year old, she's a very modest little girl but full of a million questions to which I try to present joyful answers versus fear and reproach. I never EVER want her to be embarassed of her body or see herself or its functions as ugly and gross. We are created in the image of God!
Suzie G said…
Really I think its the tone that is set. I remember showering with my sisters or switching out of the shower with my sister in through college. I have a sister is sooo modest/private it would drive me nuts because she always locked the door. it was a house full of girls so that was the difference.

yes, experts have an age (dont experts always have a limit on our lives) but i think it depends on the family. While we dont shower with any of the 3 kids, Micah, my oldest still comes in to ask me questions while im in the shower or while im getting ready & he is 5. Samantha holds conversations with me while I shower--she just turned 3 in November. Privacy is bit of a phantom ghost in our house as NO ONE GETS IT. Guess that falls on us. I have actually stopped bathing the boys with Samantha. We talk openly & honestly (maybe too openly) about the differences of our bodies (boy have a penis and girls have a vagina)I think teaching the right terms helps set the tone for respect for your body.

Yes there will come a time & Micah is getting there where I will be able to get ready in peace, but until then I dont make a big deal about it. The only private times I am stern about is my monthly times. But other than that we just go with the flow.
Name said…
I never knew the answer to that question either, so glad you posted this!
Jennie said…
Emma is 5 and still showers with me from time to time. She was around 2 when she stopped showering with my husband, when she got to the age that she was "noticing" differences between her and him he stopped. Emma on occasion has asked me questions about how she and I are different. I just let her know when she is older she will look different also. In public she sometimes uses the bathroom alone, and other times we go together. I dont make a big deal out of it, and she is comfortable with it. I do try to teach her that people do need privacy though, and that while it may be ok to go potty with mommy, it doesnt mean we leave doors wide open for anyone to see, and that while our bodies are private they are nothing to be ashamed of.
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My 8 year old daughter, 5 year old son, and almost 3 year old daughter see me bathing and changing clothes regularly. While I believe in modesty, I don't make a big deal out it and they never have either. If they ever expressed discomfort then I would stop.
My 8 year old daughter, 5 year old son, and almost 3 year old daughter see me bathing and changing clothes regularly. While I believe in modesty, I don't make a big deal out it and they never have either. If they ever expressed discomfort then I would stop.

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