9 years

Let me just say this and get it out of the way, CANCER SUCKS!  As I write this I can picture all the events leading up to this day 9 years ago and the agonizing days following.   


My mother was diagnosed with ALL  (leukemia) in March of 2002.  It was my senior year of high school and I recall my mom getting sick and sick enough where she called me to come home from school to take her to the clinic which was just a block away, but she said she could not drive.  At first  they thought it was Hepatitis but then I believe it was March 8th when we finally got the diagnosis.  I know the next day I went to school and everyone was acting normal but I felt like nothing was normal, I secluded away from my friends and went to the best teacher ever and cried on her shoulder for a few minutes.  Mrs. Wakeen... you were an awesome teacher that day...you were anyways but you went above and beyond and I was so blessed!  


My parents let no time go by as my mother started chemo and radiation right away.  We prayed for a bone marrow match and sadly non of my mom's 5 sisters were a match.  It was very sad that we had no bone marrow match but we still felt that my mom would do great with her treatment. 

One of my last favorite memories I have with my mom is celebrating my 18th birthday with her while she got her treatment and I stayed at a nearby hotel with her.  We had pizza, watched movies, read all the get well cards, and just prayed and loved on each other.  Our birthdays are 2 days apart so she was celebrating her 46 birthday.  


The treatment plan was going well and my mom was released to come home just in time to be at my graduation.  She had to wear a mask to keep away from germs but I did not care one bit...she was home! After graduation she did go back for some more treatments but on September 11th she was out of the hospital and she had a letter stating she was 100% 
cancer free and she came to visit me at my college dorm room.  She was so happy to be out of the hospital and so excited to see where I was going to school.  We went to Perkins and had a great meal.  It seemed that the hurdle was done we were on the other side but none of us expecting what was going to happen in just a couple short weeks. 

Only 2 weeks after she visited me at college she went to her follow up appointment and sadly her numbers were bad.  The leukemia was back and it came back strong.  :(  My mom signed up for a trial program and started a new chemo round.  


October 18th rolled around and my mom was getting very sick and was moved to the intensive care unit.  I left my dorm and got to the hospital right before they put her in a medicated coma.  When I went into the room I could see the pain and the last thing she said to me was "I have never felt like this before" and I thought she said "I'm falling into the floor."  I know I'm silly.  

The next few days were ups and downs and on October 29th our family gathered around her and prayed and said our good byes...our SEE YOU LATER as I know 100% she was going to have a party with Jesus.  She held on till the morning when she passed away on October 30th, 2002.  I was 18 years old and I was very mad and honestly I was angry at my God.  Don't worry my daddy God and I worked it all out.  :) 


I endured the longest car ride with my father driving... still not sure how he was able to drive.  We got home and it was a terrible feeling.  I knew I would never see my mom walk down the steps, I would not hear her giggle in the kitchen.  After I gathered my thoughts I found my dad at the foot of his bed kneeling on the ground sobbing.  It was terrible to see him in so much pain but it opened a door to a deeper caring relationship with my dad.  I did not have to say anything but I hugged him and cried with him for a few minutes.  It was healing to me and I think maybe to him it was too.  Later I would join my dad at a grief group and the bonding we shared in the car was awesome.  I know my mom and my dad had a great marriage and I am thankful to witness and share in seeing there marriage.  My dad is still not dating or thinking about dating, he says my mom was his one and only.  


Well, 9 years have passed and I think about the things that have occurred in my life I get a little bummed she was not hear to share it with me, but I will hold on to the promise of seeing her again in Heaven.  

 God saw she was getting tired, and a cure


 was not to be. So He put His arm around her 


and whispered, "Come with me." With 


tearful eyes we watched her suffer and saw 


her fade away. Although we loved her 


dearly, we could not make her stay. A 


golden heart stopped beating, you're now at 


peaceful rest. God broke our hearts to prove 


to us, He only takes the best. Love you Mom