Celebrating and seeking joy rather then grief

I know some of you read my post...or should I say rambles the other night when I could not sleep. I know I had a negative tone as I was going through some grief.

Thankfully the book of Psalms continued to comfort me that evening and I did get some sleep. I don't know what it is but the 10 year anniversary really hit me hard.

The quest was still on to find something to celebrate rather then focus on the sadness. Thanks to Mel for giving me the balloon idea. I had done this a few years ago but doing it with my kids and marking 10 years was perfect and really helped me get out of the sad mood.

I loved the balloon colors too... they were bright and polk-a-dot and the one had butterflies which already remind me of my mom. It was a PERFECT balloon bouquet that helped erase sadness because look at the fun colors... who could be sad with such fun balloons!

I also got to talk with my daughter who is old enough to understand. She asks questions all the time about Grandma Bette and it truly brings joy to my heart to tell her stories.

Here is daddy and T-man letting go of the blue balloon. He was a bit concerned letting go of the ballon and watching it float away. I think he wanted to play more with the balloons.

Of course pretty in Pink let go of the pink balloon. :) She had fun watching her balloon get further and further away.

I let go of the rest! It was a very windy day thanks to Hurricane Sandy making it windy all the way in Wisconsin! Thankfully our balloons stayed clear of the power lines and trees. :)

Grief is strange as it comes and goes but it never expires. There is always a sadness that creeps up on me and it's OK It crept up on me during big life changes but I always replace it with joy because I confidently know my mom is with Jesus. Death does not have to be scary it really can be filled with HOPE. Jesus gave us this HOPE and LIFE!

So in honor of my mother... 46 years with us here on earth but 10 years in Heaven with my Savior. We say SEE YOU LATER... and WE LOVE YOU!!!

Dear Mom,

Thank-you!!!! I know you prayed and prayed for me. I know I am the women I am today because you were on your knees for me. You helped mold me and I know you surrendered all your concerns and worries to Jesus and it might have taken your death for me to fully surrender to Jesus and live my life for him but I know you paved the way and you planted the seeds and you were my role model.

Praise God that after 10 years I can still hear your laugh, see your smile when I close my eyes, and feel your love constantly.

I know some days I get sad and angry that I never got to introduce you to my wonderful husband or your two amazing grandchildren but I have peace knowing that you probably even prayed for them before they came to be.

Also, mom thank you for marrying my dad. He sure is a great dad and I know he was a good husband because even after 10 years he still can't even think about going on a date with any other women. He truly was devoted 100% to you and that is a beautiful thing.

LOVE AND MISS YOU ALWAYS,

April

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