Skip to main content

Ten Years..."The Lord Comforts the Broken Hearted

Well it is 11:26 pm here and I can't sleep.  i know 10 years ago I was not sleeping either nor anyone else in my family.  Saying good bye to my mother 10 years ago still hurts...  the tears tonight came unexpectedly.  I was determined that now after 10 years I would not need to cry yet I'm awake and wiping my nose and eyes.  

This post is truly my thoughts during this time, probably lots of typos will be involved but I just feel the need to write.  Sorry but this will be a ramble with tears and memories.

If you want to know how my mom passed away and more details of that first year then feel free to read my post from last year.  

This year I was thinking I wanted to do something fun to celebrate and remember my mom but here I sit with no ideas and a broken heart.  I cry because I miss her, I wish she would have met my husband and my two kids,  because I wonder what she would do in this or that situation.

I even got mad that I was crying because I did not want to cry and I even told my husband, "ugg this is so stupid."  I am so glad I have a great husband.

Before I used to get angry or even jealous of people older then me who still have their mama but now I just try to remind them to spend time and love on their moms.  I now get angry if I see a boy or girl younger then me who has lost one of their parents.  It is not fair!!  I know life is not fair I trust me I understand that this world is broken and is craving for Jesus.  So I know bad things happen.

I am saddened and angry that even after 10 years there is no solid cure for Leukemia.  I do know some people who are in remission or fighting and I hope they know I am their biggest cheerleaders and prayer warrior.  I know fighting cancer has gotten better as well as better detection but I am still angry that there is no cure.

My sister was inspiring this year and did the Light the Night walk for Leukemia and I am planning on doing it next year.  She also got a cute little butterfly with a orange ribbon (leukemia color) in it. She is trying to convince me to get one but I really do not want to do that.  I think my brother is also getting a tattoo to remember my mommy.  

The other thing I was thinking of doing was getting a large health blizzard because that was my mom's ice cream of choice.  A bit lame and not much for celebrating but I seriously sit here and my mind is blank on her other favorite things???  HELP... MEMORIES WHERE ARE YOU?

I was even searching for ideas on how to celebrate 10 year anniversary of death and did not come up with much... maybe I should have searched how to celebrate 46 years of life and 10 years with Jesus!?   So honestly I just Googled that and my search results were about passover and Jesus.  Interesting!

So I have even spammed both my brother and sister via text this evening and I am sure they both work in the morning so I have not heard a response from them.  I hope they are not annoyed my me.

If you have any ideas I would love to hear them.  I think I just let this day sneak up on me and then I get mad I did not plan something fun and then my mind wanders and I allow sadness to sink in.  Suck a stupid cycle...

Jesus is my comfort and I know he is going to bless me with good sleep which I am going to go try to do now.   He truly helped me through the last ten years!

Hug your loved ones more and kiss them daily.  Enough typing time to get in the WORD and find Peace in HIM.

GOOD NIGHT!  Please pray for me through out the day (Tuesday the 30th).  THANKS

Comments

Sue Hull said…
I'm so sorry you lost your mom.I can't even imagine losing mine.I'm almost 48 and my mom is 68.I have a suggestion. You can write a letter to your mom and tie it to a balloon of her fave color,then let it go.Keeing a journal might help too.
I lost a friend who passed away unexpectably.Looking at his picture still makes me cry.He died 10 yrs ago.
Death is so hard to accept. Even tho I'm sure you know your mom is with Jesus and you'll her again.I'm a Christian and I know He will always take care of me.
Last yr I had cancer,hodgkins lymphoma.I had my awesome family here for me.Jesus was there for me through my whole journey.I'm fine now and I give all the Glory & Praise to Him.
Just rememver things will get better.Jesus loves you so much and He knows you're hurting and that's ok.I will keep in my daily prayers. Have A Happy Halloween! God Bless
Thanks Sue! I am glad you have beat your hodgkins and giving HIM the glory! AWESOME I love hearing these positive stories of healing!

Popular posts from this blog

"The Reading Game" Review and Giveaway

Description: The first book in  The Reading Game  learn-to-read series tells the story of a skunk without a stripe who is rejected by the other skunks but finds acceptance among some cats and becomes their defender.  It’s told in rhyme, is beautifully illustrated, and is 32 pages long.  It will be the first book the student reads, and there are five more to follow in this groundbreaking learn to read program. Each of The Reading Game's six stories is told using just thirty new words.  These are broken down into six sets of five words.  The student learns to read each set of five words by playing a simple word matching game.  Frequent exposure through play hard wires these words into long-term memory.  Rote learning is transformed into a fast-paced game with a winner every few seconds. After completing Skunk, Game 1, the student has learned five words (can, cat, is, me, not).  Playing Game 2 adds an additional five w...

Challenger Sports Summer Camp

  Families and players have trusted Challenger Camps for over 30 years as North America's largest soccer camp provider. We provide week-long summer camp experiences for kids of all ages and ability levels, all over North America. Our tried and tested curriculum is implemented by our professionally trained team of international coaches to deliver a week of education, fun and development. We offer different camp models to suit the needs of the individual player and family. The #1 Soccer Camp in North America! Sign-up early to save up to $40 with Early Bird Pricing Enter code USFAMILY to get 5% off as well! You will receive a camp jersey, a soccer ball, FREE virtual training and a Camp Certificate! #ChallengerSports #EarlyBirdOffer https://challengersports.com/soccer-camps/ Titus has done this camp several times!   HE loves soccer!  Hoping to get him signed up for another week before going back to school.  

Packing for your first ski trip

Pexels - CCO Licence So, you're gearing up for your first ski trip and the excitement is as thick as the snow you're about to conquer. But before you can show off those freshly learned pizza and French fry stops, you’ve got to pack.  Packing for a ski trip can feel like preparing for a chilly expedition to the North Pole, but fear not! With these nifty tips, you'll be ready to hit the slopes in style and comfort. 1. Layer Like a Lasagna Think of your ski outfit as a gourmet lasagna: each layer is crucial. Start with a moisture-wicking base layer (yes, that includes thermal underwear) to keep you dry and snug. Over that, layer a warm and breathable mid-layer—think fleece or a wool sweater that can handle the chill. Top it all off with a waterproof and windproof jacket and pants. Remember, it's all about layers that you can add or peel off because sweating while you ski is less fun than a snowball in the face. 2. Keep Those Fingers Cosy Cold hands can ruin a...